Live, No Matter What
by Wandergirl108
Summary: Decades before the being who would one day rise to lead the Empyrians as Maotelus was even conceived, a wind malak and a water malak fell in love. They didn't know their wretched fates, what either of them was destined to become; they only knew each other and the love they shared, and in their ignorance, they were happy…


**A/N: As is my way, this story is canon for my Berseria x Zestiria crossover project, Tales of Corazoria (and all my other related fics), hence Theodora being a water malak here. For those of you who are used to Lucine, let me clarify Theodora's appearance in this author's note (if you're not familiar with Lucine, feel free to move on to the story): You already know that they have the same face, the same eyes, the same figure, and the same hairstyle, though Theodora's hair is white until it curls and turns blue at the ends instead of turning white after being blue. Her outfit is less similar: She wears heels, and her dress is much smoother and more form-fitting, is several shades lighter of blue than the darkest parts of her hair, and has spaghetti straps instead of sleeves; there is a sort of frill that drapes around her upper arms but leaves her shoulders bare (it's not quite sleeves), and a single clasp in the back holds it all together, leaving an open space down across her back to her waist. I hope I described that effectively. Anyway…**

* * *

He tasted like night wind and the air before a storm.

Theodora was a woman who loved with all her heart and lived with every ounce of her being, every day. It was a lonely way to live, in a world where humans and malakhim alike always seemed to love making excuses to hold back, to hesitate, to be afraid, to doubt, but she had known from a young age that she could never live like they did. For centuries, she'd doubted she would ever find someone who could match her passion, who could love her as she would have liked to love and be loved…but somehow, her reckless abandon had led to her sitting on a simple couch in a little cabin in the middle of nowhere, wrapped in the muscular arms of a wind malak. Here and now, she was lost in his kiss, his skillful lips and tongue working her with a ferocity to match her own, and she gave him everything she had in return; after all, for her, that was the only way to live, or love.

At last, he came up for air, releasing her mouth for a moment, both of them gasping for breath. Panting, her companion smirked at her, one gloved hand caressing her skin under the short frill draped across her upper arms.

"I don't suppose I could convince you to stay the night?" he asked wickedly.

She tilted her head. He'd asked many times, but never really pressed the issue - in fact, in the two years they'd been dating, he'd shown her nothing but tenderness and respect. Against all odds, the man who had introduced himself to her as "Zaveid the Whirlwind" with a hell-may-care grin had impressed her enough for her to be here, now, in his house, alone with him, after all. Maybe…maybe it was time to find out if he was the real deal.

Smiling at him, she stood up. "Sure," she replied as he rose to his feet.

Zaveid's cocky smirk dropped, and he blinked dumbly. "Uh…"

"Where do you sleep?" Theodora asked.

Hilariously, the wind malak's jaw worked soundlessly for a minute before he managed to choke out an eloquent, "Huh?"

She threw her head back and laughed, her straight white hair tipped with blue curls tossed along the skin of her shoulders that her dress's straps left exposed. It wasn't just amusement at the look on his face, though his expression was truly priceless; it was amazement that, of all the people she'd ever met, _this guy_ would be the one to actually meet all her standards, all her wishes. _I still don't even know why I gave him a chance in the first place,_ she remembered, marveling at what it had all led to. There had just been something about the way he grinned at her after she slapped him for the way he'd introduced himself that had given her a gut feeling that he was worth getting to know, and she'd been right. How could she do anything other than laugh?

He laughed too, sounding distinctly relieved. "Oh," he chuckled, "I getcha. You're just joking, huh?"

"Nope," Theodora responded sweetly. "I'll stay if you want me to. Why not?"

"Wh-?" Another blink, and he shook his head, clearly bewildered by her answer. "I don't…You mean you…Are you sure, Thea?"

Smiling wider at the sound of the shortened version of her name that only he had ever called her, the water malak relaxed, and she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I am now that you've asked," she replied.

"_What_?"

"You're really nothing like the vulgar brute you pretend to be," she teased him; "for all your posturing, you're just a proper gentleman, aren't you, Zavie?"

His lips quirked up at the cutesy nickname she'd given him in retaliation for the one he'd given her, but his eyes were still baffled. "I mean, you can think that about me if you like," he replied.

Leaning up on her tiptoes, Theodora pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "I know it, Zavie," she murmured. "And I love it." She took a breath, then let herself go: "I love you."

Zaveid blinked, as though stunned that the words could come to her so easily. Then, his hands came to rest on her hips. "I…I love you too, Thea," he breathed.

"Then why should I leave?" she asked. "Come on. I've made you wait long enough." Stepping out of his grip, she turned and looked around, trying to guess which of the two or three doors in the building would lead to his bedroom. The place had obviously been built by humans before being abandoned some time before Zaveid had commandeered it for his own; on a hunch, she sauntered for the door at the furthest corner of the space, and upon opening it, was rewarded with the sight of a simple bed. "There we go," she murmured, stepping inside.

"Thea…" Zaveid was behind her somewhere, though even now, he wasn't pouncing on her like his usual behavior implied he would. When she turned around, he was in the doorframe, staring at her and shaking his head slightly.

She smiled at him, then reached behind her back to the clasp that held her dress hugged against her frame.

"Thea, wait!" Zaveid exclaimed, stepping forward, his eyes wide. "What're you doing?!"

"Getting ready for bed," she replied simply. "Isn't that what you want?"

"But-!"

Before he could protest any further, she unhooked her garment and let it fall away, shrugging out of the straps and the frill draped across her arms so that the cloth could drop to the floor. She bent down and unbuckled her heels, then stepped barefoot onto the wood floor, closer to him, clad only in her seafoam-patterned bra and panties.

Zaveid stared, his eyes perfectly round. "Oh wow…" he whimpered.

Laughing, Theodora walked up to him, running a hand along the strip of bare chest that his jacket always left exposed. He didn't reach to touch her, didn't move at all, his eyes sparking with…fear? He was an extremely talented kisser, but fear was perfectly in line with what his reaction to her declaration that she would stay had told her, and there it was. Just to be doubly sure, she took hold of his wrists and guided his gloved hands to her waist. He hesitated, his fingers shaking as he touched her, even through his gloves.

"I knew it," she grinned, and she slapped at his chest playfully. "I _knew_ it! All your dirty jokes and boasting, it's all just talk, isn't it?! You've never actually done this before!"

The wind malak winced, pulling away from her slightly. "I mean," he mumbled, "malakhim don't really-"

"Shh." Theodora cut him off, placing a finger over his lips to quiet him. "We may not breed," she told him, "but we're alive, as alive as creatures of flesh. Just being alive is a wonderful, sacred thing, never to be taken for granted, and this…" She brushed her fingers under his jacket. "…this is the most natural thing in the world."

"Are you telling me you _have_ done this before?" Zaveid asked incredulously.

"Well…no," she admitted. "Not for lack of wanting to, but just…well, since we don't breed, it would be a waste of time and energy if it didn't mean anything, and I had no one for it to mean anything with until now. I love you, Zavie," she repeated gently, touching his cheek.

"You love everyone!" he protested. "You love everything living thing on the planet!"

She rolled her eyes. "That's different," she sighed. "I _love_ you, Zaveid. You. And that's why I'm here, because I _love you_."

"I…I love you too," he breathed. "I love you, Theodora."

"Then what are we waiting for?" she asked.

"I…"

"Even malakhim don't live forever," she said, baring her very core and essence to him with the words. "We might have tens of thousands of years ahead of us; we might both turn into dragons tomorrow. Who can say for sure?"

Despite everything, he chuckled. "A beautiful heart like yours, turned into a dragon?" he scoffed. "Heh, that'll be the day…"

"You never know," Theodora stated. "The future is never certain, Zavie - it doesn't exist, and it never will. There's only here and now…you and me. Each moment is ours to waste or embrace, and I don't want to squander a single second I have in this world. I can't imagine anything worse than reaching the end of my life and being able to look back and say, 'I wish I had, if only I had.' There's only one way to live, and that's all the way, every moment."

He didn't respond. Didn't move.

Realizing suddenly that she might have crossed a line, Theodora took a step back. "Of course," she said quickly, "if you don't want to, that's-"

"Whoa, hey, hold on!" Zaveid abruptly stumbled forward and caught her arm, meeting her eyes. "It's not that I don't want to," he told her. "It's just that…I…" He swallowed hard. "I…I don't know how," he confessed.

"You don't have to," she said, giving him a gentle, soothing smile and stepping back up to him. "You just have to believe you can, and your body will do the rest. That's what it means to be a malak, after all. Relax, Zavie. Don't be scared."

"Don't be scared?!" he exclaimed. "You can't tell me _you're_ not scared!"

"I'm not," she stated. She hesitated, then relented, "I mean, maybe I'm kind of nervous. But scared? No. What's the point in being scared? Fear is just a shackle that gets in the way of living; I'd never waste my time being scared. And there's nothing to be scared of…" She leaned up, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Since we're malakhim, there's _nothing_ to be scared of. Unless you're scared of _me_…"

"Babe," Zaveid sighed, "at the moment, I'm more scared of you than I've ever been of anything in my life."

"Well, don't be," she chided him. "Don't be scared, Zavie…" Gentling her tone, she caressed his face. "Don't be scared," she murmured. "Just live. Live, and to hell with the consequences. That's what it means to be alive."

"Thea…" he whispered.

He leaned in, and their lips met, softly at first, then harder, as he pulled her closer; she reached around his head and untied his ponytail, freeing his wild, green-tipped hair. Not breaking the kiss for a moment, she felt and heard him struggle with the straps on his arms, and he peeled his gloves and weapons off, baring his hands to touch her, his fingers rough and strong against her skin. Smiling against him, she reached down and unbuckled his belt, and he moaned, roughly shrugging off his jacket, leaving him naked from the waist up before he grabbed at her, clutching her against him, claiming her mouth with his own.

"You…are…incredible," he rasped between kisses. "You know that? You're the…most amazing…most beautiful…sweetest…purest…most perfect soul…in the world…" He pulled back, cradling her face in his palms as he met her eyes, his expression almost pained. "I don't deserve a girl like you," he whispered.

"I thought that once," she teased him, "but if I still agreed with you, we wouldn't be here." Gazing at the tattoos that crossed his chest and biceps, she ran her hands along his bare, brawny shoulders. It was strange that she should fall in love with such a buff, chiseled man, but she knew now that under all those muscles was a soft, tender, loving heart, a heart she already cherished and wouldn't trade for anything. "You're wonderful too. Now…" She smiled at him, slipping her fingers into the hem of his pants. "Shut up," she whispered.

He kissed her roughly, and they struggled a little with the rest of his clothes, the tight pants with metal holsters strapped to his thighs and the knee-high boots. Once they finally managed to get the rest of his garments off, Theodora reached down and wrapped her hands around his manhood, which stiffened and swelled to near-alarming size in her grip, but she didn't let the worry about taking something so massive into her own body slow her down any more than she ever let any other form of fear inhibit her.

"Ooh, you're a big boy, aren't you?" she taunted instead, stroking him hard enough to make him groan.

"And you talk about _my_ dirty jokes," he laughed, his voice rough, and he grasped her wrists and pulled her hands off him. "You sure had me fooled into thinking you were an angel, but you're just a little devil, ain'tcha?"

"If living means being a devil, I don't want to be an angel," she retorted. "Does it bother you?"

"Not at all," he growled, grinning at her. "Just as long as you're _my_ little devil."

Returning the grin, she twisted her hands out of his gentle grip and pulled off her bra, baring her breasts to him. He whined at the sight, but didn't touch her; even now, he was clearly afraid, even terrified. "Go on," she breathed, taking hold of his wrists now and guiding him to her. "Don't be scared, Zavie. I'm yours. _All_ yours. Don't be scared."

Breathing hard, he hesitantly, timidly, put his hands on her. As gentle as his caress was, it sent sparks dancing along her skin, and she moaned at the sensations, the pleasurable ache in her gut and the electric tingle of her body; she had never felt more alive than she did in that moment, as though she were actually made of flesh.

Something in Zaveid's demeanor snapped, and he suddenly pulled her against him roughly and hooked his fingers in her panties, pulling them down and away from her. Though his hands were shaking as he clumsily acted on an instinct he clearly didn't understand, he wasn't reluctant anymore, stroking her thighs and squeezing her ass.

"That's it," she gasped. "Just live, Zavie. Don't be scared, don't hold back, do what you want to do."

Together, they stumbled to the bed, kissing and touching and breathing each other, lost in passion and heat, before tumbling onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs. Some awkward struggling ended with him on top of her, though he didn't seem to think he should be.

"Thea," he murmured, still kissing her. "I don't know…what to do…"

"Easy," she whispered, and she arched against him, her legs going around his waist, guiding his member to where it belonged. "Inside me. Right here. It's okay, don't be scared. Do it."

He made some sounds that weren't quite words, trying to prop himself up in the right position to do as she said…and then, finally, he pushed his way inside her. An unexpected, burning pain caused Theodora to cry out, jerking under his touch.

"Thea?!" he gasped, going utterly still.

"It's…okay…" she panted, pulling him close again and burying her fingers in his hair. "It's okay…don't stop…just live…"

"But-"

"Move," she groaned, wriggling her hips against his despite the pain. "It's okay…_move_…!"

Jerkily, clumsily, he did as he was told, his thrusts hesitant and uneven, though instinct was enough for him to know the basic gesture. Though it hurt, Theodora welcomed it, welcomed the oneness with him, the love they shared…and before long, the pain gave way to pleasure. Moaning, she bucked against him, trying to take him in deeper, harder, she couldn't get enough.

"Yes," she gasped. "Oh, _yes_!"

It didn't just feel good, it felt like it was _going somewhere_, and she chased it, trying to get in a rhythm and bring him to sync up with her, though they both failed quite spectacularly at this, enough so that she laughed several times at how awkward the whole situation was. Still, they moved, nervous and inexperienced but certain, as the sensation built up, strangely, approaching a climax that she pursued without thinking, without wondering, until it burst.

Ecstasy shot up through her core, and she screamed, amazed and overwhelmed by the sheer bliss of it all. Zaveid was saying something, but it took a few moments after the explosion ebbed for her to understand him.

"What's wrong?" he gasped. "Thea, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she panted, her throat raw. "Don't stop. Keep going…and you'll understand…"

Little aftershocks of euphoria rippled through her being as he obeyed; something told her he had already caught on, his movements coming harder and faster. With a final plunge all the way inside her, he roared, and she felt him release, his mana-formed body defaulting to what flesh would do in this situation as liquid splashed inside her abdomen - there was no seed, of course, but it was _him_, his essence gushing out to fill her, and she welcomed it all.

When he collapsed on top of her, gasping for breath, she just held him, feeling his skin, his sweat, his heaving body. They lay like that for a long time, both reeling, amazed at what they'd just experienced.

"_Damn_," Zaveid moaned at last, pulling out of her and rolling onto his back, giving her space to breathe.

"You really didn't know," she giggled breathlessly, rolling onto her side to face him. He turned over to face her too, smiling at her.

"And I suppose you did?" he teased.

"No, but I'm not the one who always asks for it," she countered.

His cocky smile was that same nasty expression she had once thought she hated, but it was entirely appropriate now as he reached over and caressed her breasts, all his nervousness gone; she shivered as he stroked her, her body burning pleasantly. "Well," he smirked, "now that I do know, I might never be able to get enough."

"Me either," she agreed, matching his smile.

Without any hesitation, they both reached out, pulled each other close, and kissed each other deeply, completely as one. It felt as though nothing would ever break them apart, they were bonded and could never be separated.

"I love you, Zavie," Theodora murmured against his lips.

"I love you too," he responded softly. He pulled back slightly, and she saw the hesitation in his expression.

"Don't be scared," she whispered. "Don't ever be scared."

"Theodora," he breathed, "I…" He took a deep breath, as though bracing himself. "My true name is Fylk Zahdeya," he told her.

Theodora's breath caught; true name exchange was a powerful, sacred thing for malakhim, more profound and intimate than any act of flesh could ever be…but it felt right, here and now, with him. "Fylk Zahdeya," she repeated. "My true name is Suijia Kwivdux."

"Suijia Kwivdux," he intoned, and the sound of her true name being spoken by her lover sent delicious chills down Theodora's spine. "I swear, I will never leave you. I'll protect you, babe, you and your right to keep living, come what may."

"I don't want you to protect me, Zaveid…" She thought for a moment, then blinked. "Oathkeeper?" she asked. "Zaveid the Oathkeeper?"

"That's me," he smirked.

"So all this 'Zaveid the Whirlwind' business…?" she prompted.

"I mean, I _wish_ that was my true name," he shrugged. "But you know how it is."

She nodded. "Well, anyway…I don't want you to protect me," she told him. "Being safe means being scared, and being scared means avoiding life. I don't want to be safe, Zavie…I just want to live. That's all I want to do with my time in this world, is live, no matter what. And…that's what I want for you, too. To live. No matter what."

"Well, I'll make sure you keep on living, then," he said seriously. "We'll both live, and we'll do it together. No matter what."

"No matter what," she agreed.

Live, no matter what. These were words they would say to each other many times throughout the decades they spent together; it was their way, their code, their creed, not just for themselves and each other but for all living things.

When Innominat arose, and the exorcists eventually found the two malakhim hiding away in the remote lands where they'd been raising three orphaned children, Zaveid looked into Theodora's violet eyes and made sure it was the last thing he said before he gave himself up to the Suppression so she would have time to hide and avoid being tethered: "Live, no matter what."

And when his free will was returned to him a little over a year later by a mysterious tool, and he went back to find her, only to discover that living alone with the malevolence of traumatized children had turned her into a dragon in his absence, as he looked into the empty, dead eyes of the beast she had become, it was all he could think: _Live, no matter what._


End file.
